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New Nursery Rhymes by Mike Berger

Humpty Dumpty lay in pieces;

no one gave a damn.

Learning to tolerate the infestation

of flies as the grapes rotted on

the vine.


Little Boy Blue plays the bass

guitar in a rock band. They jam

until yogurt turns putrid. Licorice

is on sale for $1.79 a pound.


Little Miss Muffet was forced to

change her diet; she was allergic

to gluten. Now she eats marmalade

and mango salsa they taste like 



Big bad wolf is a cunning one; he

used dynamite to blast down the 

pig's house. He stores their mangled 

flesh in his freezer. 


Old King Cole is merry no more,

Someone stole his cane. With just

one leg , he must use his wheelchair

until be buys another on eBay.

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